things we (never) wanted (джен)

The burst of spiritual energy surprises Huaisang as much as it surprises Xichen, his fan flicking it out so forcefully Xichen is knocked over as Huaisang jumps to his feet. He’s seething now, practically seeing red, his heart pounding so hard and fast that it hurts.
“How would you know what da-ge would want?” he screams, “How do you know what he would want me to do? Did he tell you? Did you guess?”
Xichen blinks up at him from the floor, resting on his elbows, stammering, “Huaisang, I-”