all this dead weight (джен)

The thing that haunts Thor isn’t even the moment itself, the gun pointed at Loki’s chest, his brother walking backward, hands raised and looking at Thor for help, the sound of air expanding as the laser left the gun’s muzzle, Loki stumbling and crumpling to the floor.
No.
What sticks to him, replaying over and over while they make their way to Asgard, in the short reprieve they get after escaping Sakaar with Loki lying unconscious in their terrible makeshift infirmary, are the awful seconds right after the shooting.
When Loki fell, blood seeping into the leather of his armor, the first thing Thor thinks is how convenient; things start going south and Loki gets hurt. It fills him with guilt now, violently clawing at his own chest, but at the time, all Thor could see was the two times where Loki had fooled him before. 
Loki dies, Thor mourns, and then Loki appears again, that’s how it works.
Why should this time be any different?
*
or, Sakaar guards are better than Stormtroopers, Loki gets shot, and Thor thinks growing up should not be this hard