So That's What It Does (джен)

What if during 'The Avengers' Phil Coulson had picked up a different weapon before going to confront Loki-- and thereby totally changed the course of the rest of the movie?
NOTE: Contains references to past torture, rape of a minor, and abusive parenting. Also involves de-aging-- sorta. Unbeta'd, posted as an experiment. Constructive criticism welcomed.
Also, I am going with the MCU-canon suggested age ratio of 50 Aesir years to 1 human year, because it's simple and it makes sense. Though I am adding the proviso that Aesir babies develop at the same rate as humans for the first four years before slowing down.