What the Sorting Hat Said (джен)

We all know what was said between the Sorting Hat and Harry, but what conversations were had between the Hat and the other characters we've come to love, hate or just feel apathetic about? (It all belongs to JKR).
"Listen, you tatty little piece of shitty, useless cloth, if you don't sort me into Slytherin now -"
"Well, yes, bullying and intimidation - that does decide it - SLYTHERIN!"
It's not the first time the eleven year old Draco learns that cruel words and a ruthless heart can get him what he wants. And the Sorting Hat is sadly aware of the pattern he's just help repeat - of what he's just reinforced.
"Sometimes, I do think they make me sort too soon," he mumbles wearily to himself...