The Hobbit: A Suicidal Journey

Bilbo has been planning to kill himself for a while. However, he wants to go out with a big bang and not just a common death. Cue Gandalf and his invitation to a dangerous adventure that will surely give him an opportunity to die in a lot of interesting ways. Now, if only those bothersome dwarves stop saving him at every attempt . . . Full prompt inside. Half serious, half not.