What's in the Box, Dean Winchester? What's in the Box!? (слэш)

(Canon up to Season 6 - alternate timeline to date.) There are some things Dean Winchester knows for sure about his current life. He loves his angel and his brother and his family of choice. (Even though Balthazar's a snooty little douche-nugget. The Grim Reaper is a flighty friend, at best. And Gabriel is about to drive everyone up the wall with his obsession for getting into Sam's pants.)
There are some things Dean Winchester knows for sure about his future. He will always have Cas and his brother at his side, even in the afterlife. He'll one day have the world of humanity and a whole host of angel dickbags under his charge. And he's apparently destined for Celestial Greatness. (Trademark. Copyright. Yay. Thanks for that, Chuck. Please note the deadpan sarcastic delivery.)
And then... there are some things that Dean Winchester doesn't have a flippin' clue about. Why is Crowley suddenly so willing to be buddy-buddy with him? How many wings can one man realistically have? Where the hell is Adam? Who the frick is Abaddon? And what's in the GODDAMN BOX!?! ........ maybe he should have left that last one alone.