Draco Malfoy: Dungeon Master (гет)

A thorough analysis of a conversation overheard at the bar of The Leaky Cauldron between one Hermione Jean Granger and one Luna Pandora Elizabeth Constance Chrysanthemum Lovegood led Draco to the establishment of the following facts:
1. Hermione Jean Granger was looking for something called a D.M
2. There were a number of possibilities for interpretation of this acronym (one of which was rather dizzily Draco Malfoy). The most likely of these, after much research and consideration of the context of the conversation, was Dungeon Master.
3. A Dungeon Master (according to a response received to a hastily dispatched owl from a Muggleborn Theo had once had sexual relations with) was responsible for the dictation of play in a Muggle game known as Dungeons and Dragons. This was an RPG (Role Playing Game) in which participants were subject to the whims of the D.M
4. Dungeons and Dragons was, after much investigation and a fair amount of educated guesswork, in all likelihood, a Muggle subset of the BDSM (Bondage, Dominance, Submission, Masochism) community.