Hermione's Furry Little Problem (смешанная)

Примечания автора:
This began more or less as a challenge to myself to write explicit sex scenes without resorting to vulgarities, out of character slang, or hackneyed euphemisms like "throbbing members/heaving bosoms" (and it's bloody hard 😛). The purpose of the challenge was to avoid the pitfalls that usually arise when writing a proper story with a sex scene: mainly that they usually seem so out of place to be written in a language and style which doesn't match the rest of the story. In this case, the rest of the story is written in (largely) British dialect and in a style similar to kid-lit (hence you see the literary problem I'm attempting to resolve).I should like to preface this by pointing out that this is a bit of a SATIRE of many Fanon and Canon Tropes. Having said that, this is also a Drama with a lot of emphasis on relationships, and a bit of a Political Thriller as well, so there are some serious elements too.  There are mentions of triggering events such as sexual assault and rape, but it is largely "off-screen." This fic deals more with victims learning to cope in the aftermath. If you're looking for non-con, there are plenty of other fics which feature it in great detail.Likewise, though this story does feature teens in consenting sexual relationships, it does not feature minors having sex with adults (Tonks is young enough and more or less has the outlook of an older teen--so she doesn't really count as an adult in my book... 😏). So again, if you're looking for that, there are other fics. This is intended to be enjoyed from the point of view of reliving one's teen years, first-times and fantasies, with a cartoony, hentai-ish vibe. Finally, it may seem at first that this is a Ron bashing fic, but it really isn't, even though I do think he's a bit of an idiot with a motor mouth and issues (and it's not a Ginny bashing fic either), and I also think Ron is basically a good guy at heart despite his issues. Rather, it depicts the relationships between Ron and Harry and Hermione with its ups and downs (and admittedly, it starts off in a "downturn"). ----------------------------------------- It's also worth noting that I set this in the 2000's when the movies are set (sort of). The Millennium Bridge is the bridge that was destroyed at the beginning of Half-Blood Prince, the movie. One of the film props in Sorcerer's Stone very clearly demonstrates that Harry Potter and Dudley were 11 in 2001 Not to mention, all the adult characters in the movies look at least 20 years older than they're supposed to look. Lol! 😂   So the timeline of events has been bumped up around 21 years in this fic--which is 10 years beyond the movie timeline. I actually went with the 2010's for largely satirical purposes which will become clearer as the fic goes on. Some of you may get the pop culture injokes and political satire. But if you're not sure, just ask! Okay, so to be clear, Harry Potter was born in 2001 instead of 1980 in this fic, and all the