Finding (a way) Home (джен)

What if Harry didn’t cope with Sirius' death as he did in the books?
What if he resorts very unhealthy means to somehow hold his life together?
Starting in the summer after OOTP.
This is a story of pain, depression, desperation and angst; but also of healing, recovery, friendship and finding unexpected support and hope.
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“I need this.” Harry finally said, looking up at the man with watery eyes. “You don’t know what it’s like. It’s all crushing down on me, drowning me. I … I can’t. I …” he squeezed his eyes shut to halt the tears from falling. “I know, ok? I’m not an idiot. I know that this is not good, and not healthy, and that the Boy Who Lived should not to this. But I can’t stop it. I need this!” he pleaded with the man to understand. One person, there had to be one bloody person in this stupid castle who understood. This was the only way he could function - and he had to function because he could not let anybody else die or be harmed in any way.