Elementary, Actually

Just back from the war, 26-year-old John Watson is looking for a job. Luckily, his old buddy Mike Stamford has one in mind:

“Mike, you did not tell me this was a porno.”

“What? It’s not!”

“No? Then why the hell am I being asked to eventually take my kit off and mount some kid who barely looks like he’s out of secondary!”

He expects Mike to be angry or indignant on his behalf, but what he does not expect is for the man to burst out laughing on the other end of the phone.

“Mike!”

“Sorry, sorry. Are you serious? Frankie told me it was an art house/independent type but I thought he meant Little Miss Sunshine, not Eyes Wide Shut!”

“Oh my God, Mike, I’m going to kill you.”

Or, what happens when the author watches Love Actually with Johnlock in mind.