would you not have survived? (слэш)

Shane thought about it, a lot more than he should've. And it showed. It showed in the way he'd begged Ilya to sell his Ducati the summer they got married. It showed in the number of times he'd had to calm his racing mind when Ilya took twenty minutes longer than expected at the grocery store.
It showed in his heaving breaths, now. He was sitting up in his bed, his husband sleeping peacefully next to him, and he felt like he was on the edge of a panic attack.