Revan's Rotten Holiday

Oh dear. I seem to have awakened on a Republic ship with a smashing headache. My apprentice has betrayed me, my troops have abandoned me, I haven't been laid in ages, and all I have is this dinky blaster. I suppose it's time to remind everyone why I am Darth Revan, Dark Lord of the Sith. What do you mean, my name is Ferc Kyja? Blast. This is going to be a rather rotten holiday.