Napkin Anthology (смешанная)

In which fanboy Matt falls in love with a writer, actually meets them eight years later, falls into bed, drinks a lot of tequila, and completely fails to woo his pen-wielding sweetheart by performing the ancient mating dance of quoting Dr. Seuss and punching people.
That's the problem with loving a writer, you know. What works in books doesn't always work in reality. And love? Love is in a lot of books.