Falling, the missing details (смешанная)

My favorite episode of Supergirl is #16 "Falling", in which, Red Kryptonite attacks part of Kara's mind. As Freud would say, it kills her superego, allowing the other parts of her personality to rise to the surface. As disturbing as this story was, it revealed so much more about Kara's feelings than we would ever know with her superego filter in place. It was a brilliant episode. But it had a conspicuous limitation: This is a family friendly TV show, and this dark story calls for an uncensored glimpse into the mind of the Girl of Steel.
Warning for SuperCat fans, that relationship is not a major focus of this story, but will play a small part in the end. (I am writing a second version of this story here told entirely from Cat's point-of-view, which will have plenty of Kara/Cat).