team bonding with sam wilson (смешанная)

They wait in an uncomfortable silence for a few moments, Mr. Harrington checking his watch every couple of seconds. The room is sparsely decorated, save for the circle of folding chairs. Beige paint peels off the walls and a clock by the doorway loudly announces each passing second with a resounding tick.  
As Peter begins to grow impatient, a familiar face enters the room, his face painted with apologies, but before he can open his mouth to say any of them, Flash blurts out: “You’re The Falcon.”  
The man, Sam Wilson, as Peter mentally fills in for himself, smiles indulgently and nods. “Yes, hello, my name is Sam Wilson, but you may know me as The Falcon. I’ll be conducting your group therapy session today.” 
--
or, a 6,000-something word crack fic about sam wilson being a therapist.