Given the location of my head and the fact that my arms were still wrapped around Lung, there was only one course of action I could take.

I bit his crotch off.

Oh boy, how he howled.

Lung’s grip on my back slackened enough that I figured I wouldn’t do too much damage to myself forcing him off of me so I threw him across the room. He flew into the wall and fell to the floor in a heap, clutching the wound between his legs.

I can’t believe the first time I got to third base was with Lung, I thought as I spit his mutilated man-meat out of my mouth. God, my life has gotten weird.