The Flatmate Agreement (джен)

There were parts of The Roommate Agreement that Leonard actually approved of wholeheartedly, but he still wondered sometimes why a ban on storing dismembered body parts in the kitchen needed to actually be put into writing. It was slightly worrying, but it still never occurred to him that somewhere in the world there might be a roommate even worse than Sheldon Cooper. (Quick question: Who do you feel more sorry for? Leonard Leakey Hofstadter or John Hamish Watson? Consider this story a cage match between the world's two most annoying living companions.) Once upon a time in London...
(This has apparently been translated into Russian, http://fanfics.me/fic119699)