The One Where Snape's Bits Smell Like Cheese

Now what summary could possibly top that title? Well alright, I suppose we should at least try. Here goes: in which two unpleasant characters have bad sex. But who are we kidding? You were going to click on it anyway, regardless of the summary. Are you still reading this? Really, now. That's enough of that. Go on, click on it. We promise not to judge you.