All his life, he had been drowning (слэш)

The spiral of his thoughts drained him further. The fire of determination had been snuffed out within him and Jiang Wanyin was out of reasons to keep on fighting. As he lay down on his bed, he dreamt of life without all of these feelings he had struggled all his life. He wanted to get away from himself and from how draining his life was. But he knew he couldn’t do that if he kept surrounding himself with the people and places that reminded him of those feelings.
Here, in Lotus Pier, the memories of his inadequacy in so many ways suffocated him slowly and constantly throughout his life. All his life, he had been drowning. Eventually, he knew he would stop struggling to stay afloat and just let the water swallow him.
This place was going to kill him.