Mary Holmes 94

Ба.
"Captain Gillespie, brother of Lieutenant Gillespie of the Rhodesian SAS, was based at the Selous Scouts fort at Chiredzi as the operations officer. He was also a practised practical joker. One of the other whites based at the fort was Squadron Leader ‘Frantan’ Fenton-Wells who was both the air liaison officer and the butt of several of Gillespie’s jokes.
One day Gillespie enlisted the help of one of the Blues helicopter pilots and a Special Branch colleague to play a special joke. The next day, an Alouette III helicopter hovered above the Scouts fort and slowly descended into the courtyard. Gillespie unlocked the door of the ammo store and helped the storeman take out four mortar-bomb boxes that were packed with plastic explosives in readiness for a forthcoming job. On cue, the SB man came out of his office with his pack and his machine pistol and began helping load the boxes onto the chopper which had landed with the rotors still turning.
Frantan rushed out of the ops room and shouted across to Gillespie, “I haven’t ordered up a chopper. What are you up to?”
“Don’t worry,” Gillespie replied, “we’re only going across to Mozambique to take out a pylon on the power line.” The power line in question ran from the hydroelectric plant at Cabora Bassa dam in Tete province, Mozambique to South Africa. “That way we’ll interrupt the power supply to South Africa and bring them into the war,” the SB man chipped in.
“You can’t do that! It hasn’t been authorized. You’ve got no authority: it’s illegal,” Frantan pleaded as the chopper lifted off and disappeared in the direction of the border. Immediately Frantan disappeared into the ops room and phoned everybody he could think of, including air headquarters at Combined Operations in Salisbury. Finally he went across to the Blues compound.
“Do you know what Gillespie and that chopper pilot are up to?” he demanded.
“Yes,” said the duty officer. “It’s supposed to be a test flight but they’ve really gone to lunch at the sugar mill club.”

"The Officer Commanding C Squadron Rhodesian SAS at the time was vertically challenged and highly conscious of the fact. He occupied an office at Cranborne barracks which had a wooden door with both a brass door handle and a letterbox. One dark night, a practical joker unscrewed the handle and the letterbox and fixed them at the bottom of the door about six inches off the floor. And then the coward went on leave! In the morning the OC turned up for work to find his redesigned door accoutrements at the height only a midget would use. He went ballistic and searched high and low for the culprit to no avail"

"The Scouts fort at Chiredzi was mighty hot in the summer and flies were a problem. Aerosol cans of fly spray were left around the place. Captain G had the jolly wheeze of replacing the label on a can of white spray paint with the label from a can of fly spray. After a jolly night at the Blues pub on the airfield, Bunny Hardt, our vehicle mechanic, and I repaired to our beds. Bunny went into anti-fly mode and liberally sprayed the corners of the room, his bed, his stomach, his back and other areas with ‘fly spray’. In the morning we wondered why everything, including Bunny, was painted white. Captain G had been at work" (с)

А мне тут про школьников ужасы рассказывать будут)