Snips and Snails (слэш)

John looked at Sherlock narrowly as he sank down with a groan. “You know it’s time,” he said a little accusingly.
“I know I was due two days ago and it could be time,” Sherlock said archly, settling in next to John and tugging his oversized shirt down.
John pulled a face, grumbling, and settled back into the sofa with his arms crossed. “You’re taking all the fun out of it, you know. All I wanted out of this was to look at you and say ‘is it time?’ and for you to look back and say ‘it’s time.’ Like, proper dramatics, this time, instead of ‘oh. my waters have broken. those must have been contractions.’”
“In my defense, I’d never had a baby before, and I’d had enough false alarms that I didn’t want to say anything for fear of being wrong again. Sue me for wanting to be sure.”
“Of all the times not to be dramatic - you, the biggest drama queen in all of London -“
“If you don’t stop, I’ll wait until he’s crowning before I inform you that our second child is on its way,” Sherlock threatened, throwing a look at John.