many envies (джен)

He startles, glancing around. Wei Wuxian had just been right beside him. They hadn’t been speaking, after Wei Wuxian’s few abortive attempts at making conversation. Because Jiang Cheng hadn’t wanted to speak to him. He never wants to speak to him, ever again, because walking alongside Wei Wuxian, being on a night hunt with him— it’s too much. Even if he no longer wants Wei Wuxian dead, how can participate in these farces? How can he get so close to the thing he wants, only to remember he’ll never have it? He can’t let Wei Wuxian make casual conversation. He can’t allow him to weasel his way back into Jiang Cheng’s good graces, his heart. Because Jiang Cheng won’t survive it. He knows this very well.