the best laid plans (слэш)

“Hello dickhead,” hisses Nagini. "I am here to report your location and abysmally boring daily life back to Tom so he can find a way to kill you faster and more painfully. At least then he’ll give me more rabbits, because hunting is a pain in the arse and those nimble little carrot-fuckers are bloody tiring to catch.”
Harry stops weeding Aunt Petunia’s lawn in favour of staring at the giant python in the garden hedge next to him.
 
It’s the holidays after the Triwizard Tournament, Nagini hates this whole spy business, and Harry makes an unexpected friend.