"Really – do you stay up late at night trying to work out the most stressful thing you can throw at me?"

"No!" Merlin said. And then he felt a wash of guilt, because Gaius was an old man. "No, sir. Sorry, sir."

"When I asked you to try to keep out of trouble over Christmas, this really wasn't what I meant, you know."

"But this isn't my fault!"

"And yet here you are in the middle of it again, Merlin."

"Well – well, yes. Um. Sorry, sir."

"You are an only child, aren't you, Merlin? I mean, I won't be looking at a collection of Gandalfs and Harrys and Sarumans and Voldemorts toddling up to St Andrews over the next few years?"

"No!" Merlin exclaimed, choking with unexpected laughter. "No, sir, I'm an only child."

"Pot, meet kettle."

"And so he did what any self-respecting man in his situation would do. Er, no, actually, he didn't."

“I’m not sure if you gentlemen have noticed, but you’re blocking the way,” Emrys drawled almost lazily as though the three of them combined didn’t have a dozen or more stones on him. “Is there a specific reason for that, or are you simply three-dimensionally challenged?”

"It’s been a long time. I thought you’d call.”
“I can’t imagine why you would,” Sherlock snapped, folding his arms, sleeves rolled up to his elbows, “considering I believe my parting words to you were ‘If I ever see you again, dental records won’t even be of any use in identifying your body’.”

Now they were at the table by the window, John enjoying his Italian meal, Sherlock enjoying his big, steamy plate of absolutely nothing.

This called for an expert second opinion.

He pulled out his phone and shot Gwen a text: Ice cream emergency. Stat.

Her reply came within seconds: pint or gallon sized emergency?

That was why he loved her.

He’s absolutely gone for Arthur. He knows it, Arthur suspects, it’s likely there are tribes living in the outer provinces of Uzbekistan with no electricity or running water who are discussing his hopeless crush on Arthur over their evening campfires.

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